When Judas, his betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned, he repented and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. Matthew 27:3 NRSV
Judas committed the ultimate betrayal. His infamy is the historic standard for treachery. After the deed, which was committed for money, Judas did not have the spiritual wherewithal to forgive himself. He was unable to suffer productively and redeem his egregious betrayal of Christ through forgiveness. Tragically, he succumbed to remorse through self-inflicted death rather than live with his misdeed in the humility of self-forgiveness and divine forgiveness.
God, thank you for the precious gift of life. May I first seek forgiveness from you and then learn to forgive myself. Amen.
Regret is the first step in forgiveness.