If you sense that your heart is intractable, perhaps it is momentarily hardened by the pain of death. In that case, your grief may be described as ignorance, futility of thinking, darkness of understanding, or separation from God. You resist adjusting or adapting because your heart is hardened by the finality of death and the pain of grief. You may desire only that things stay the same. Willful resistance is futility of thinking. But even a hardened heart cannot be separated from the life of God.