So I tell you this . . . that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Ephesians 4:17-18 NIV
If you sense that your heart is intractable, perhaps it is momentarily hardened by the pain of death. In that case, your grief may be described as ignorance, futility of thinking, darkness of understanding, or separation from God. You resist adjusting or adapting because your heart is hardened by the finality of death and the pain of grief. You may desire only that things stay the same. Willful resistance is futility of thinking. But even a hardened heart cannot be separated from the life of God.
God, in moments when my heart feels hard and cold, I feel separated from you. Direct my ignorance and futility of thinking toward understanding of your love. Amen.
Below the grief-hardened surface of my heart is a burbling fountain waiting to spring forth into life.