On the seventh day the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead; for they said, “While the child was still alive, we spoke to him, and he did not listen to us; how then can we tell him the child is dead? He may do himself some harm.” 2 Samuel 12:18 NRSV
The fear and dread expressed by the servants may remind you of a doctor, nurse, hospice worker, or family member who was reluctant to be the herald of bad news. Were others protecting you from death? Were they afraid to tell you the truth? Were they fearful for you? Perhaps you reacted with anger. Perhaps you succumbed to a sense of overwhelming defeat and powerlessness. You may feel abandoned by God or by the one who died. Likely you were unprepared to manage your victimization. The work of grief honors your season of victimization.
God, it is hard work to be a victim. I do not understand what happened and, like David, I did not want to hear the news of death. But I know that through your grace, death does not have the last word in life. Amen.
My sense of abandonment is a real part of my victimization.