As we travel the journey of grief, we search for a new direction in life. With the death of one we love, the familiar roadmap of our life is turned upside down—in an instant north becomes south, east becomes west. We cannot get our bearings.

   When we are unable to focus on prayer or anything other than the emotions of grief, often God speaks to us through a single thought or word. For me, God has used the rich imagery of being on a path, “Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths” (Psalm 25:4). The promise is that if we trust God’s direction, the path for our life will be made clear to us, “Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. Let your good spirit lead me on a level path” (Psalm 143:10).

   On the path through grief, it is not unusual to detour onto personal, unexpected byways—private roads that cause us to revisit the worst of the past, the pain of incomplete relationships, and the emotions we associate with our humanness when we grieve—anger, guilt, and regret, to name a few. When we find ourself on a path overgrown with thorny issues from the past, we forgive ourself, forgive others and move forward in faith, “The way of the righteous is level; O Just One, you make smooth the path of righteousness” (Isaiah 26:7).

   As we navigate the twists and turns of grief, eventually we arrive at a crossroad. If we are distracted by complex, complicated grief, we find ourself on an emotional roundabout and miss the exit. If you find yourself going round and round, struggling in your head and heart with the unresolved emotions of grief, a counselor, therapist, or behavioral health professional may be able to direct you back to the path that leads to life beyond grief.

   When one day we reach the crossroad of grief—the intersection of past, present, and future— we stand in the middle of the road. When we pause to look backward, we see the long, winding road we have travelled on our journey through grief. When we look in the other direction, we see the unknown road ahead.

   At the crossroad, we must choose our direction, “And when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left, your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it’” (Isaiah 30:21). We can turn around and retrace our steps, revisiting the experience of grief and all that is behind, or we can move beyond the crossroad toward the rest of our life, “Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life…” (Deuteronomy 30:19-20 NIV).

   When we choose to move forward, we square our shoulders and march forward to rejoin the world. The promise is that the path beyond the crossroad leads to our God-ordained future, “You must follow exactly the path that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live, and that it may go well with you” (Deuteronomy 5:33).

   When the crossroad of grief points the way toward our own new life, we offload the baggage of the past. Our only luggage for the rest of the journey is the backpack that contains the  gifts of our grief. Whether or not we realize it, the experience of grief bestows upon us unexpected gifts, many of which we discover for ourself.

   It is a sacred responsibility to use the gifts of grief to help others, and in doing so, to serve God. Often we are surprised by how our experience of death and grief can be of help to others. There is always someone who needs our care, our understanding, and our support. There is always someone whose grief is newer than our own.

   Because we know what grief feels like, we know how to comfort those whose heart is broken by death, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3).

   The gifts of grief are similar yet different for each person who grieves. Grief gives us a better understanding of compassion—how to offer it and how to receive it. Grief leads us into a more personal relationship with God. Grief leaves us with an unshakeable conviction that life is worth living.

   When we see where we have been on our journey and where we are headed, we know with certainty that God is with us every step of the way, wherever God leads us in our life. On the last occasion that my beloved husband was in the pulpit, he offered this pastoral prayer, “We have come this far by faith, and we will continue to walk with our hand in yours wherever you lead us.” God is faithful. In life, in death, in life beyond death, God is with us. Thanks be to God.

...for we walk by faith, not by sight.
2 Corinthians 5:7