On a rainy Tuesday afternoon in December, I attended the funeral of a woman whose husband I knew and wanted to support. He was an adoring, loving spouse, in every way a faithful servant who cared for his wife throughout her long decline from Alzheimer’s disease. The service was a fitting tribute to a joyful life well-lived in love and service to her family, her church, and others.

…not just any old work shoes, but hot pink sneakers with shiny silver stripes that peeked out from the bottom of her sensible khaki pants. This particular angel had bright yellow curly hair, the perfect complement to her sunny disposition. Her job was to arrange and maintain the Christmas floral arrangements in the large gothic dining room of an historic estate house open to the public. She was the “flower lady”, responsible for artfully brightening this moody space with its soaring cathedral ceilings through the vibrant beauty of fresh seasonal flowers.

Beyond its accustomed use to designate a federation of states, a commonwealth is also defined as any group of persons united by some common interest. In the face of senseless violence, tragic death, and random injury, as occurred in recent weeks and days especially in London and Manchester, those of us who are helpless bystanders are most certainly part of a commonwealth.

Recovery best describes our spiritual and emotional healing from grief. Here are some things that to help in how to recover from the death of a loved one.

The journey of grief takes us inevitably through “the valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23:4 RSV). We emerge at last from the darkness of grief into the light of new life, our soul restored through the loving care of God’s infinite grace.

When the careful restoration of our life is at last complete, our grief becomes a precious part of the infrastructure of who we are.

As our grief slowly moves beyond the pain of loss and loneliness, often we ask ourselves, “Will I ever be happy again?”

When we grieve, somewhere deep within we long to soar again.

God is perfect. God is faithful. God’s perfect faithfulness is our one true guide through the valley of the shadow of death.

What is it about grief that seems so at odds with the notion of recovery?

If we're experiencing a kind of mental, emotional, or spiritual inertia, we may be temporarily stuck in our grief.

When our heartbreak comes from a love that's pure, true, and untarnished, putting the pieces of our life back together is a labor of love, the work of grief that honors the love we shared with the one now lost to us in death.