My body is racked with pain, pangs seize me . . . I am staggered by what I hear, I am bewildered by what I see.
Isaiah 21:3 NIV
Grief is confusion. It is the muddle of feelings, questions, and demands that cannot be separated into neat piles. Your body may be racked by real pain, whether emotional or physical. You may be bewildered by the empty chair at the kitchen table. Or you may start to speak to someone who is no longer there. Confusion is going to bed without saying goodnight to the one you love or wandering around a too-large house with painful memories. The confusion of grief slowly melts away as physical and spiritual order are gradually restored.
God, I am staggered by what I hear and by what I do not hear. I am confused. This must be grief. You alone know my mixed up heart. Amen.
My confusion is a normal part of grief.