How long must I bear pain in my soul, and have sorrow in my heart all day long?
Psalm 13:2 NRSV
Shock enshrouds you in its protection, which at once insulates and smothers you. You may go through the rites and rituals of death with vague detachment from the surreal perspective of shock. Perhaps you remember; perhaps it all seems like an out-of-body experience. Yet grief insists that you comprehend the reality of death so that one day you will no longer have sorrow in your heart. God is here. God alone knows your sorrow.
God, I am in pain in my soul. It is so great that I can hardly bear it. I am distraught over the death of my beloved. This does not feel like love. Amen.
God understands my pain.