As the world watched in stunned disbelief, on August 8, 2023, the historic town of Lahaina in Hawaii was all but destroyed by raging wildfires driven by high winds. According to Maui County Mayor Richard Bissen, “Tragedy that hits one of us is felt by all of us. These past few days, the resolve of our families, businesses and visitors have been tested like never before in our lifetime.”  

If you are grieving the death of someone you love, you may be searching for answers to some of life’s most challenging questions, including the ‘why?’ of death. After my beloved husband  died, I was desperate to understand what happened. I knew that in order to go through grief, I needed answers to the ‘how’ and ‘why’ to make sense of my grief before I could move forward again in life. Although I sorted out the ‘why’ of his illness, the ‘why’ of my grief was another matter entirely. 

When we reach the crossroads of grief, for a while we stand in the middle of the road. When we take a look backward, we see the long, winding road we’ve travelled on the journey through grief. When we look in the other direction, we see the unknown road that will lead us toward renewed hope, recovered love, and belief in the future.

With alarming frequency we stand as helpless bystanders to rolling acts of senseless violence and share in the grief of parents, family, friends, educators, entire communities, and indeed the world. As we bear witness to the unthinkable, a sense of our own powerlessness seeps into every corner of life. The bedrock of our faith and the beliefs at the heart of all we hold dear are tested and shaken. From the depths of our soul we ask, “Where is God?” We want to know. We insist on answers when there are none. We question, we probe our faith, and again ask, “Where is God?”

When we grieve often it's simply not possible to find words that adequately express our sorrow, our pain, and our inmost needs.

During the worst of times, the changing seasons remind us of the steady, faithful presence of God, “for now the winter is past, the rain is over and gone” (Song of Solomon 2:11). In spring, the beauty of nature holds the promise of new life—daffodils emerging from the earth, the rich colors of tulips in bloom, the first tentative azaleas in bud. Trees seem to burst into full leaf almost overnight. As surely as spring fades, inevitably nature moves toward the heat of summer, the first chill of autumn, and the cold of winter.

Anger is a common emotional reaction to our physical separation from a loved one. For many, anger is a very real part of the experience of grief when someone we love dies. Anger is a normal response to the seeming injustice of death. When we grieve, we’re not prepared for how it feels to be angry.

The overarching emotion most of us feel when we grieve is all-consuming sadness.

In case anyone needs permission, it is okay to admit that we feel relief when the season has passed, especially when we are grieving. 

Time does not stand still for those who grieve.

In Luke 2, verses 10-11 we read, “But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid, for see, I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord.’”

We make our way through the valley of the shadow of death because of the certainty of light, the assurance of God's light, the light we seek at Christmas.